|Abstract (Spring 2015)|
36" x 36"
acrylic on Infrastructure Canvas
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Sometimes, errr umm many many times, nothing goes as planned and I get so frustrated. I'm sure you can relate to that feeling. I try to stay in the "just love the not knowing" type of thinking, but my mood doesn't always support that optimistic attitude. It would be great if I could be in my studio painting everyday and there would be this relaxing, creative energy going on where I just went with the flow with whatever came to my canvas, but that just isn't a reality.
Reality is there is so much of life that gets in the way of that process. I consider it a lucky day when I am able to have a full painting day and when those days come along, it's not easy to just flip the switch to be creative. There are a lot of thoughts and responsibilities that kind of buzz around me like flies while I'm trying to paint. So a painting doesn't always turn out great no matter how much I want it to. I'll even get super focused on it and work harder only to realize it was better five layers ago.
This is when you just have to say screw it and let go of the preciousness of a painting and go wild on it. My friend Tom calls these "Fuck It Moments". This is a burst of freedom when you slather your brush in paint and completely "scribble" over everything you've done. You say fuck it to the delicacy of the painting in front of you that is trying to survive and you just surrender to it. You stop controlling it and you give it full power to do what it wants. Sometimes, you get something better than you could have even imagined. Sometimes.